SURVIVAL AT WORK
1. Never walk without a document in your hands
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings.
People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria.
People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're
heading for the toilet.
Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings.
People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria.
People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're
heading for the toilet.
Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
2. Use computers to look busy
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer.
You can send and receive personal e - mail, chat and
generally have a blast without doing anything remotely
related to work.
These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either.
When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer.
You can send and receive personal e - mail, chat and
generally have a blast without doing anything remotely
related to work.
These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either.
When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.
3. Messy desk
Top management can get away with a clean desk.
For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your work space.
To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts.
Pile them high and wide.
If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
Top management can get away with a clean desk.
For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your work space.
To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts.
Pile them high and wide.
If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
Never answers your phone if you have voice mail.
People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM.
That's no way to live.
Screen all your calls through voice mail.
If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.
