MARRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

BASIC LOVE TIPS FOR LADIES

8 WAYS TO SHOW YOUR HUSBAND YOU LOVE HIM:

Men and women experience love in very different ways.  Most people are not conscious of this as they go through their lives, and so they attempt to show their love to people of the other sex in the same way they want it shown to them, in the same way they think of it naturally, without considering how the other person views it.

There are certain things that are necessary to feel loved that are shared among nearly all people, regardless of gender.  This includes things like time together, touching, communicating, and other things of this nature. This type of thing is worth of its own article, so for this article, I'm sticking with things that are either specific with regards to wives with their husbands, or at least more emphasized.

Women, if you're reading this, realize that just like you, a man doesn't feel loved just because you say "I love you". That doesn't mean you shouldn't say it (you should), but you can't just leave it at that... and most men won't tell you that they don't feel

loved.  Many of them don't even realize that is what is bothering them, they just know they aren't happy, and possibly that it has to do with their relationship, but not be able to put it into a solid concept that they don't feel loved.

I'm a  man.  I know that most of the things I need to feel loved, when they are boiled down to basics, are the same for most other men.  There may be a few here and there that one of the things below do not apply to, or a few here and there where there is another essential addition.  If you are one of those men, and reading this, please add them in the comments.  For the vast majority, however, I think this list covers the basics.

So, with no further ado, ladies, here are some basic ways you can show your husband you love him.

1. Respect Him

The most effective way to make a man feel unloved is to disrespect him, especially in front of others.  If you have any desire at all to take good care of your husband, and make him feel loved, do not ridicule him, overrule him, or dismiss him in front of someone else.  It's bad enough to do it in private (you really do NOT need to use these methods... find another way to convey your message), but in public you might as well slap his face.

2. Admire Him

This is related to the first, but from the other side.  Respecting him is more about avoiding disrespect than an overt display of respect.  Admiring him, on the other hand is explicitly about conveying to him, by words or gestures,

what it is that you like about him.  This can be body language, like giving him "elevator eyes" when he's watching, if you like his body, or it can be words, like telling him that you love his sense of humor.  You should always make

sure that you use something appropriate to the circumstances, however... telling him you love his sense of humor while you're at his father's funeral together might not be a good idea.

You also need to vary this, finding new (or infrequently used) little things to tell him you like on a fairly regular basis.  If you have trouble coming up with stuff on your own (are you sure you're with the right guy for you?), then just instantly tell him when he takes an action you like... if he comes around and opens you car door for you, and you like it, tell him so.  Always hearing the same thing, like "I love your sense of humor", makes it lose its power for this. It gets to the point where he won't really believe you, thinking you're just saying it to manipulate him.

3. Let Him "Overhear" You Praise Him

This works wonders, but has to be used infrequently, and with caution.  It doesn't work, and can feel manipulative, if you pretend like you don't know he's there, but he can tell that you do.  It's much better, and safer, to ACTUALLY praise him to others, and occasionally he'll be nearby when you

do so, and overhear it.  This technique actually works if you do it outright, too, as long as you don't over do it.  That is, you can flat out say to someone "My husband is great, he does X for me", with him sitting beside you, and it will

make him feel like you respect and admire him (see above).

4. Drop Everything

This is a little thing that has major effects.  One of the most effective ways of showing someone you love them is to make them top priority, to the point where you stop everything you're doing, whatever it is, to focus on them.  That is, you step away from the computer, let the baby play by herself, turn off the TV, stop cooking dinner, whatever it is you're doing, and go to that person and specifically show them that they are your central focus RIGHT THEN.  This is particularly effective when you first see them after a separation (ie when you

or they get home from work, etc.).

5. Notice His Strengths

This is similar to admiring him, but specific to his strengths. That is, if it's hard for you to get the lid off the jar, and you know he can, go ask him, telling him something like "I'm not strong enough to open this.  Can you do it for me?".  If his strength is math, ask him to calculate the price per ounce of something (or a similar feat of arithmetic), telling him it's too hard for you. Don't lie in this... he'll know.  Just make a point of asking him to help anywhere that you know is a strength of his that complements a weakness of yours.  As noted, this can be physical or mental... "Can you move this for me,

I can't do it?" or "Can you help me figure out how to word this?".  Just like admiring him, though, overuse of this in one area tends to lower its effectiveness, eventually becoming more annoying than complementary.

6. Forgive His Weaknesses

Your husband has his weaknesses.  All men do, and all women, too, for that matter.  Do NOT use his weaknesses against him.  If you use them to try to manipulate him, if you bring them up any time it's not absolutely necessary, he will start feeling like you don't respect him in that area.  This applies to showing off areas where you are noticeably stronger than him, too, unless it's somewhere he feels he doesn't need to (or can't) compete, which is generally areas that are not considered masculine, or areas where it is widely acknowledged that special talent is required, like singing.

7. No Comparisons

One of the worst things a wife can do is compare her husband to an ex, whether husband or boyfriend.  Doing so is bad even if you are saying that your husband is better in some way.  Men understand that they were not necessarily the first person you were with, the first person you loved, but that doesn't mean they want it brought into their conscious awareness.  And if you compare your husband poorly, as in he's not as good at this or that, then this is multiplied.  You are disrespecting him, pointing out his weaknesses, AND reminding him that you were with other men before him.  That's just asking to bring up negative emotions and associate them with you.

8. No Guilt Trips

It's a classic, portrayed in uncountable movies and television shows... the wife gives her husband a guilt trip until he does what she wants. Manipulating someone is a bad idea.  Clumsily manipulating them is even worse, but manipulating them at all is bad.  This has two sides, in that it's bad for both the person being manipulated and the one doing it.

The person being manipulated, by definition, feels like he is having his power of choice taken from him. If you feel that it's still completely your choice, then you are not being manipulated.  That doesn't mean that someone isn't TRYING to do so, but if you still feel like it's entirely your choice, then they are not succeeding.  Now, for someone who DOES feel like their choice is being taken from them, they will resent this strongly.  One of the most powerful motivating factors in a human life is the desire to be free, to prove that you can make your own decisions, and that those decisions matter. Messing with this desire is playing with fire... if the person you are manipulating notices it, even later on, after the fact, they will resent it.  Since, in this case, we are talking about your spouse, that means that resentment is likely to be there, even if it eventually fades, as a factor when he thinks about you for the rest of your lives together.  It may be small, maybe even so small that he's not consciously aware of it, but it will, none the less, be there.

Manipulating someone is bad for the person doing the manipulation, also. When you attempt to manipulate someone, you attempt to take some of their humanity from them.  They will, as mentioned above, resent this, generally resenting even an unsuccessful attempt.  But it's just as bad for the person doing it, especially if they are doing it to their spouse, because it takes away from your concept of the person you're trying to manipulate as a person, an

individual, and instead turns them into more of an object.  Objects can be generally counted on to have the same output when given the same input. Thinking of people in this way robs them of their humanity, their power of individual choice, making you respect, and love, them less.  Presumably, if you're reading this article, that's not exactly what you have in mind.

So there you have it, 8 ways to show your husband that you love him.  Some are things to actively do, some are things to actively make sure you DON'T do, but when they are all put together, and included with the things that all people need to feel loved, your husband will know, and feel, that you love him.

VITUKO MASHULENI:

VITUKO MASHULENI:

Mwalimu katoa kazi kwa watoto darasani, kila mmoja atunge sentensi kutokana na maneno yafuatayo;

1. TUMAINI
2. SUKARI

Mwanafunzi:
1.SENTENSI: TUMAINI TWA MBUZI NI TUTAMU KULIKO TWA NG'OMBE:

Mwanafunzi:2. SENTENSI: NILIKUNYWA CHAI ASUBUHI NA MAPEMA SANA:

Mwalimu: SASA NENO SUKARI LIKO WAPII??

Mwanafunzi: SUKARI IMO NDANI YA CHAI, MWL UTAKUNYWAJE CHAI BILA SUKARI KWELI INAWEZEKANA:

TAFAKARI CHUKUA HATUA

                                         

CHRISTMAS TIME

Christmas

C is for Christmas I wait for all year.

H is for holly that brings so much cheer.

R is for reindeer that pull Santa's sleigh

I is for icicles dripping all day.

S is for Santa who seldom is seen.

T is for tree that is lovely and green.

M is for mistletoe, hugs and a kiss.

A is for angel who looks just like this.

S is for stockings all loaded with toys

From all of the elves to the girls and the boys.

Christmas Time (Farmer in the Dell)

Christmas time is here

Christmas time is here

Hustle bustle busy time

As Christmas time is here

Christmas trees are up

Christmas trees are up

Tinsel balls and popcorn too             

As Christmas time is here

Santa Claus is here

Santa Claus is here

Bringing gifts and stockings too

As Christmas time is here

Christmas time is a beautiful time

With lights all red and green,

I think it is the prettiest time

That I have ever seen!

Christmas Acrostic (may be used for a concert)

C - is for the Christ child born upon this day

H - is for the holly to make our mantle gay.

R - is for red ribbon to wrap the parcels tight

I - is for the icicles On this cold winter night.

S - is for dear Santa Please leave him a treat

T - is for the turkey It is so good to eat.

M - is for the manger Where Baby Jesus lay,

A - is for the angels On that first Christmas Day.

S - is for the stockings Hanging in a row With candy canes out of the top and bulges in the toe.

THE MOST INTERVIEW MISTAKES

Top Eight Word Mistakes Candidates Make in Job Interviews

1.Use language that is too informal

It is important to remember that you are interviewing for a job, not trying to make a new best friend. Too much familiarity can hurt your chances by making you look unprofessional.

Poor Phrase:“I’m sure you guys are aware that the job market is in the dumps right now. It’s been one heck of an uphill battle for me for the past year.”

Perfect Phrase: “Unfortunately, as I am sure you are aware, the job market is still tight, and there is a great deal of heavy competition for the same jobs.”

2.The use of words that are vague

Words such as “a lot,”“various/multiple,” and “great deal of” are vague and don’t give the interviewer the needed information.

Poor Phrase: “I have had a lot of experience with various lines of multiple products. I am proud of the results I’ve had in saving the company a great deal of money.”

Perfect Phrase: “With over eight years experience working in the paper industry and primarily selling photo paper, I consider myself an expert on the subject and have saved my clients as much as 20 percent on orders over $5000.”

3.Misuse of pronouns

It can be very confusing and words can be misinterpreted when pronouns are misused. Be especially alert to this when you are using the pronouns “we,”“I,” and “you.”

Poor Phrase: “We were behind on our project, and we decided that we would stay and finish the job rather than miss our deadline. We pulled it together, and we were able to meet our deadline.”

Perfect Phrase: “I worked with a team of designers to bring a project in on time. We each took responsibility for a particular area. We worked closely, but at the same time we were completely disconnected from one another. This seemed to work because my four counterparts and I managed to pull the project together on time.”

4.Using company-specific words

Each company has certain terms that are indigenous only to that company. Outsiders will not know what you are talking about if you use these terms. This is especially true if you have worked for a public organization or the military. You should use as many specific words as possible in your interview so that the hiring manager knows you are familiar with your industry.

Poor Phrase: “While I was working on the 767 project,

I discovered an error in the “Whichamaculit” used to produce our 656 product line.

This was a really costly mistake.”

Perfect Phrase: “At my last company there was a particular marketing project that involved a software conversion.

Because of my strong attention to detail, I was able to catch an error that would have cost the company millions of dollars.”

5. Assuming everyone knows the acronym you are using

Acronyms are used at every company—shortcuts used internally to eliminate a lot of words. Avoid using these in an inter- view because the hiring manager may not be familiar with the acronyms used at your current company.

Poor Phrase: “I was considered an SAR and supported three line reps who were in the SWSC area.”

Perfect Phrase: “My position title was sales associate representative, and I supported the sales representatives who were responsible for the southwest area of South Carolina.”

6. Describing skills by using “weak” words

Beware of small words that can sabotage your credibility—words like “pretty,”“most of the time,” and “kind of.”

Poor Phrase: “I’m pretty good with computers—at least most of the time I am. I kind of taught myself most of the programs.”

Perfect Phrase: “I am very knowledgeable about Unix software. When I was unfamiliar with programs in the past, I taught myself in less than two weeks. I am a very quick learner.”

7.Use too few words to answer the question

One pet peeve many interviewers have is not getting enough information. When a candidate answers a question with one or two words, it’s impossible to make a judgment as to whether this person is the right person for the job.

Poor Phrase:“Yes, I have had experience in that area.”

Perfect Phrase: “I have over 10 years working with biotech testing. If you were to ask any of my coworkers, they would tell you that I hold the record for the least number of mistakes when using testing equipment.”

8.Talking too much—not getting to the point

When you fail to prepare for the interview, you can easily ramble and go off the subject down some other road. A rule of thumb is, “Your answers should be no longer than two to three minutes long.”

Poor Phrase: “My last company has developed software to support government enforcement of firearms violators. This nationwide project will be the first of its kind and will allow users to investigate firearms traffickers and purchasers. The software is able to track violent offenders and unscrupulous federal firearms licensees. This product will allow users to investigate and prosecute violators and felons by tracking their activities from remote locations. The product has been developed in cooperation with the U.S. government and will hopefully be purchased and used by all branches of law enforcement agencies that could use this tracking method. The company has invested over two years in developing and perfecting this product and has invested a great percentage of the company’s revenue in it, betting that this is going to have a big payoff long term. Short term it has put a considerable squeeze on the finances needed to run everyday work projects. If it is successful, it will be a huge coup for those who have hung in there. If it is not successful, it will be a huge loss to the company and will probably result in massive layoffs. So the whole project is going to make or break the company and it’s future.”

Perfect Phrase: “At my last company I served as lead in getting a new tracking product launched nationwide. The product will be used to track firearms violators and bring them to conviction through evidence collected. I worked closely with the U.S. government and followed the regulations necessary to develop such a produ

TIPS ON COMMUNICATION

GETTING READY TO COMMUNICATE

THINGS TO CONSIDER

1. Make a chart.

Deliberately writing succinct facts instead of just vaguely thinking

about something makes you become aware of all the forces in an

upcoming encounter, whether you're the originator of the meeting or the

person summoned.

2. Take the time to discover and state your own goals.

If you dig, you'll find out all you really want to have happen at the

meeting, and you can use that as an agenda to be sure it happens.

3. Analyze your audience's goals.

What outcomes would that person or group logically want from the

meeting? See their position clearly. What does he/she or they want from

you? Know that they can't give you the fulfillment of your goals unless

they get some of theirs, too.

4. Be honest about your emotional needs.

Without judging whether they are worthy and should be there or

not, acknowledge and allow yourself to have emotional needs. Have the

courage to find, recognize, and state them, in writing.

5. Uncover the other s emotional needs.

Through imagination and perception, become aware of what your

opposite number's or audience's feelings probably are in relation to the

upcoming meeting. Reverse roles to find out what you, or anyone, would

need in that situation.

Then, given those needs we would all share, go from the general to

the specific. If it's someone you know, use your perception and

knowledge of this particular person or group to add to your insights about

what this person(s) would need emotionally in this situation.

6. Find out what you expect to have happen.

Derail that knee-jerk reaction. Make yourself recognize and rethink

your conditioned style and response to the upcoming situation. Analyze

whether that's the best way, given what else you now know.

7. Imagine the other s expectations of the meeting.

What do they probably expect? Build on that stereotype of what is

expected, going for the element of surprise. Open new avenues to a

closer meeting of the minds by using another tack than the one most

expected.

8. Disarm

Use that greatest element of surprise and persuasion—the truth! And

don't do the expected: Try a new approach to get attention. And, most of

all, don't forget the power of humor.

ALL ABOUT FEAR

WHAT IS FEAR?

Fear is what we feel when we are unable to predict what is going to

happen, and we think that what is going to happen is likely to be bad

for us. Fear is a very useful emotion, because it helps keep us alive. If

we never felt fear, we wouldn’t be aware of danger, and so we wouldn’t

do what’s necessary to protect ourselves.

However, many of our fears are misplaced, or out of proportion to the

danger we are in.

WHAT ARE WE AFRAID OF?

We fear anything that threatens our survival. We need to survive in two

ways: as a body, that is physically, and as a person, that is psychologically.

Death threatens us in both ways. We try to survive as a body by staying

healthy, avoiding illness and physical danger that could damage or kill

us. We try to survive as a person, and overcome our fear of death, by

believing that when we die some important part of us will continue

on. This could mean our soul or spirit, our children, our work, or the

memory people have of us.

Surviving as a person means being the person that you know yourself

to be, not giving yourself up to be what someone else wants you to be.

It’s about not shrinking under the weight of humiliation or cruelty to

become an object, a nothing. It means not falling apart, or disappearing,

when overwhelmed by unexpected events.

We try to survive as a person by maintaining our sense of self-worth,

personal pride, dignity and respect. All of these are threatened when

other people don’t respect us, when they ignore or humiliate us, or

treat us like an object to be used and abused.

When we are faced with a crisis that reveals a serious difference between what we thought our life was and what it actually is, we try to survive as a person by interpreting what has happened. We can choose to do so in one of two ways. We may tell ourselves that the crisis is a challenge, which we will master, and thus we become courageous. Or we may tell ourselves that the crisis is our punishment for our wickedness, or that we are weak and helpless and there’s nothing we can do to protect ourselves. In this case, we increase our fear.

SO HOW DO WE CONQUER FEAR?

• Know yourself. Know what your priorities are and what these

priorities lead you to fear.

• Value and accept yourself. Don’t set yourself impossible standards

and judge yourself harshly. Don’t believe that you have to deserve

all the good things that happen to you. Don’t believe that you

deserve the bad things that happen to you.

• Look after yourself. Eat food that’s good for you, exercise regularly,

get plenty of sleep and relaxation, and be moderate in your vices.

Don’t carry any health measure to extremes. If you do, it’s because

you haven’t recognized the presence of your greatest fear.

• Assess dangers realistically. Understand probabilities, for example

that you are more likely to be killed by smoking than by being

struck by a meteorite. Understand and accept that we live in a

world where things happen by chance.

• Remember that things are resolved, one way or another, and that

everything passes. Don’t try to control everything or to force people and

things to be what they can’t be. Let people and things be themselves.

• Know that our greatest fear is fear of something that can’t happen.

No matter what happens to us, we can’t be annihilated as a person.

When people treat us badly, when they humiliate, betray or ignore

us, and when we discover that the world and life is not what we

thought, we can feel that we are fragmenting and diminishing to

the point of disappearing. But this will not and can’t happen. You’re

still there, observing this process. It's not you who are fragmenting

and disappearing, but some of your ideas. These are the ideas that

no longer give an accurate picture of what is happening. You go on

existing, but you have to change some of your ideas. This can be

painful and confusing, but time will pass and you’ll survive.

If you do all these things, then fear will present you, not with a

disaster, but with a challenge that you can master.